I finally got around to reading Free Range Kids, by Lenore Skenazy. If you haven’t heard of Lenore before, she is the lady that let her 9 year old ride the subway by himself, and was vilified by the media. I’ve enjoyed her blog, and the book has been on my radar for a while, but I haven’t had time to read it until recently. I’m glad I waited, because I’m already seeing some of the issues she talks about both in my own parenting and in comments that others have made about either their own parenting (or mine). I think the book is a must read for anyone who has a kid, plans on having a kid or even those who know people who have kids. FRK breaks down some of the myths behind many issues of childhood that grip us in fear nowadays – namely, stranger danger/kidnapping statistics, the “dangers” of Halloween, and the book takes a look at how the culture of fear is depriving our children of the same freedoms (and fun) of childhood that we enjoyed as kids.
The book is broken into chapters and at the end of each chapter are “Free Range activities” you can try with your own kids. For us, it is a wee bit early to try any of the activities (seeing as not only can AJ not walk anywhere on his own, but he just found his own feet). However, I think the spirit of Free Range kids is important for any Skeptiparent to have. Being Skeptical and engaging in critical thinking means that you encourage it in your children and yourself. If you find that you’re worried (especially excessively worried) about something your child wants to do (for example, riding a bike to school, or cooking his own lunch) think critically about what could *really* happen (down to statistics if you need them) while keeping in mind your goal of creating an independent thinker, and evaluate if you really should be so worried. I don’t think teaching your kids that the world is big, and wide and interesting — and that science and experimentation are fun – will work, unless we allow them to experiment and learn from experiences.
Jason and I plan on treating AJ the way we were treated. Granted, my upbringing was a little different than many – I grew up in Europe for part of my youth, and due to certain things in the mid-80s, we often had military guards along our street and in our school. I was probably more protected than most. However, AJ won’t have military police around him, and as he grows older, we want to instill independence – letting him use the stove, walk to school on his own or with friends, and play in the yard without me sitting right next to him. We will do what works for us, in our environment. If you live on a farm, you may be able to give your kids the freedom to roam around — while having to drive them to school and other activities. If you live in the city, you may be able to do the opposite. However, the spirit of Free Range Kids reminds me that I’ll need to evaluate my own anxieties as I parent AJ, and embrace rationality over fear.
If you’re interested in exploring more Free Range topics, head on over to the Free Range Kids blog. It’s wonderful, and a great resource for ongoing ideas to keep you’re brain in the “free range”.*
*Why yes, I do like bad jokes. Why do you ask?
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